


I’m Only Going to Let You Kill Me Once

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Come Swallowing, Coming Untouched, Cop!Jesse McCree, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, M/M, Oral Sex, Prostitution, References to Drugs, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-23 00:59:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10708833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Based on a Tumblr request on the Imagine-Overwatch blog. I had some seriously in depth ideas, so I'm gonna turn this into an actual fic. This is the first full length thing I've written in 10 years, so be gentle with your criticism. This is entirely unbeta'd too since I'm pro af 8)Jesse is 30, OMC is 20.





	1. Blind Faith

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This is based on a male prostitute working the streets in a city where it's unregulated, illegal and completely frowned upon as something entirely illicit and disgusting. I didn't want to write some seedy cop-preys-on-prostitute shit, either. Jesse has an open mind and a healthier attitude towards prostitutes that the other people written in this scenario, so bare that in mind. There will be non-consensual degradation, slut-shaming in this, but not from Jesse. It's built into the build up as opposed to the actual sex itself, since I want to keep that as healthy and consensual as possible. 
> 
> The way this is written doesn't reflect my views on sex workers in any way since this is a work of pure fiction. This piece is not accurate to the reality of many people in the sex industry, so don't take it as such. I have the upmost respect for sex workers, whether it's voluntary and enjoyed or a last resort just to keep themselves alive. If anyone who follows this blog doesn't respect people who work in porn, or as prostitutes, cam-girls/guys etc then please unfollow. This blog respects people in the sex industry and won't tolerate anyone's bullshit towards those who choose that as their job.

Blind Faith

* * *

 

These streets were seedy, everybody knew that. Most places have a part of town that you just don’t visit and purposely leave out of tourist routes. This place was just one big cesspool of the world’s lowest creatures. The people ran riot, the cops were crooked and the government had lost all control a long time ago. Right now, this place was being run by the people and it certainly didn't have anyone’s best interests at heart. This was not a place where people would come to live out their hopes and dreams, unless said ambitions were to become a drug dealer, part of a notorious gang or to engage in prostitution. In a place where violence was commonplace, where comparing weapons was a good way to get to know people, nobody was about to succeed in life. Once you fell into that hell, you never got out until you were carried out in a coffin. Even then, most still ended up buried there. A cruel final nail in their coffin, leaving them to rot in the place that ruined them. The only difference was that the dead had more freedom. He hadn’t started out in life wanting to end up selling his body in the middle of this hellhole. He’d ended up here by accident, dragged down by the crowd of people he’d mixed with in his first year of college. They frequented the strip clubs and brothels here, purely for the cheap thrills that so many freshman boys crave. Underage drinking and no strings sex was all they really wanted, until it all caught up with them. In a relatively short period of time, some of them had gotten involved with drugs - and not the kind that you can use recreationally with no repercussions. What had once been the occasional joint and line of coke off of a stripper’s chest had snowballed into something none of them had ever expected. Heroin, meth - you name it, most of them probably had it in their system. Drug addictions aren’t cheap, as well they all knew, and it led to them dropping out of college and renting a 2 bedroom apartment in the grimmest part of town. If a day went by where they didn’t find a cockroach, they were blessed. If they didn’t see a rat in over 12 hours, it was an early Christmas miracle. A band of fallen misfits now had rent to pay, as well as mouths to feed and addictions to sustain. That’s when he fell into prostitution. He himself didn’t have a drug habit to feed, but he did have a body that needed nourishment. Prostitution in this town was illegal, although nobody ever enforced that law unless they wanted something free. That’s usually the only time the cops showed up, because they wanted their dicks sucked for nothing. It was that, or face one of two consequences: be arrested or be raped. There was never an alternative to that, until he met Jesse McCree. Everybody in town knew who he was, a cop who actually tried to enforce the law, only he did it in his own way - a vigilante of sorts, all things considered. He was a strange one, he always wore a beat up stetson, cowboy boots complete with spurs and leather chaps over his beat-up jeans. Nobody understood why on Earth he spent his time wandering around in that cowboy get up, complete with cigar in his mouth. Nobody had ever seen him dressed any other way since he'd arrived here 5 years ago. People quickly learned not to get on the wrong side of him when they saw how handy he was with his revolver. 6 shots was always enough for him, regardless of the situation. It’s safe to say that he confused the high hell out of everyone, but it worked. People stayed away from him, and he operated as he needed to, doing whatever Jesse McCree did. Nobody had ever heard of him being involved in anything shady, so when he saw McCree walking towards him out of the shadows, he expected the usual bullshit.

_“Didn’t think this was your thing, cowboy. What is it, you want a freebie or som’in?”_

The cowboy grinned, holding out his hand.

“ _The name’s McCree, and no. I ain’t about that, but I do wanna get you off’a these streets. And I don’t mean anythin’ seedy by that, it’s cold out here and you’ll catch ya death alone here.”_

He wasn’t wrong, it was mid-December. He didn’t trust McCree for a second though, he’d had too many cops pull this shit just to get him in their car, only to demand a blowjob or some bullshit without paying. He was gearing up for that to happen as he walked over to McCree’s vehicle. Sleek, black and sparkling clean. This isn’t what he’d expected of the cowboy, but then again, he didn’t really know anything about him beyond what rumours had spread. The heat of the interior hit him the second he relaxed into the leather seats. Heated, he noted. Of course.

_“Ya warm enough, darlin’? Ya can’t just walk around wearin’ next’a nothin’ in this weather.”_

_“I highly doubt anyone is gonna want to fuck someone who's stood wearing a damn coat and scarf, cowboy. It’s business.”_

McCree looked at him, a saddened chuckle exhaled. God knows what this boy was used to. Jesse knew how prostitutes were treated in this town, how they were used, abused and often killed for refusing to do something they didn't want to. He just wanted to give the kid a break, he’d seen him on that corner every night for 2 years now, and it hurt him to think that someone so young was doing this to themselves, and he had no idea why. He wasn’t about to ask them either, he figured that was personal to them, and a conversation for another time, for if and when he could gain his trust.

* * *

 

McCree lived on the outskirts of Hell, in a relatively nice apartment decorated exactly as he had expected. It looked like a set from a western movie - a bad one, at that. He smirked as he walked in, still weary of why the cowboy had asked him here, but glad to be out of the cold. He stood awkwardly, unsure of where to put himself. McCree threw his hat onto the bedside cabinet, kicking his boots off by the foot of the ocean of blankets and pillows.

_“Get yourself warmed up and comfortable, I’ll get you somethin’ to drink, darlin’. Pretty sure I’ve got some of tha’ fancy tea powder from Japan. Never did like the stuff, too bland for my likin’.”_

He nodded shyly, waiting for McCree to leave the room before crawling into the large bed, wrapping themselves up to their neck in blankets. Whether or not this comfort would last or be turned into something else, he didn’t know. But for now, he was just enjoying the warmth, the softness, the comfort he hadn’t felt since he was a child. When McCree walked back into the room with the tea, he sat on the side of the bed next to him, not even trying to climb in with the other man. The cowboy smiled at him gain, leaving him more confused as to Jesse’s intentions.

_“Y’all right darlin’? You wanna watch a movie or somethin’?”_

He cocked his head, bewildered. The cowboy had invited him back here… to watch a movie?

_“I… sure. I guess.”_

_“Y’mind if I cuddle up to ya? Ya can say no, don’t want’cha to feel like I’m tryin’ nothin’.”_

He nodded. How bad could that be? Sure, it’d be awkward cuddling with someone he didn’t know, but he could do with the comfort if he was honest. It’d been a while since he’d just laid down and let himself be held, and in the back of his mind he was kind of glad that it was Jesse he’d be cuddled up to. The cowboy was cute, and incredibly charming, he’d give him that. He almost wished that McCree had come for more, because he wouldn’t have minded that. He tried his best to push that thought out of his mind as Jesse crawled under the sheets, snaking his arms around the other man and pulling him close, pressing a gentle kiss into his soft hair as he pressed play, letting the movie roll.

* * *

 

Halfway through the movie, he’d had enough. The cowboy hadn't made a single move, but being pressed up against his broad chest had awoken something in him that he hadn’t felt in years - a yearning for genuine affection. He wanted so much more than just being held, he wanted to hear Jesse moan, see him writhe under him. He turned his head to look at Jesse, who was sleepy eyed and docile. McCree looked back, smiling softly. He didn’t take his gaze off of the other man until he felt his lips press against his own. McCree was taken aback, he wasn’t expecting this, but he certainly wasn’t against it. The kiss was sweet, gentle and not what either man expected. There were years of repressed emotion being pressed against Jesse’s mouth, a real hunger for something more than just sex. The cowboy pulled away, cupping the other man’s face, stroking his cheek with the pad of his thumb.

_“Darlin’, are you okay? Y’know I didn’t bring you here to take advantage, you don’t have to do anything more if you don’t wanna.”_

Bright eyes looked up into Jesse’s.

_“I want to. God, I want to. It’s been so long since someone even held me like this and I… fuck. Jesse, I want…”_

He bit his lower lip, squeezing his eyes shut before reopening them.

**"I want you to make love to me."**


	2. Touch Them Where it Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One night in Jesse's apartment is about to open Pandora's box, only neither man knows this yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation, since I’ve had so much positive feedback! The same notes apply from before as regards my stance on this, but otherwise, this is just gentle smut with one hell of a lot of emotion. There’s some insight into past negative experiences, but I haven’t gone into detail about them yet. I wanted to keep this somewhat light in comparison to what the rest of the work will almost certainly be, so enjoy that whilst you still can. Things are going to get pretty intense after this chapter, exploring how and why OMC has gotten so attached to Jesse in virtually no time at all. Y'all ain't ready.

Touch Them Where it Hurts

* * *

 

Sensual wasn’t something he was used to. Being held down and used like some kind of sex toy with a pulse, yes. Being held as two bodies melded together, becoming one with each other? No. He couldn’t recall ever having sex like this before - he wasn’t sure that he had. For starters, he’d forgotten that foreplay was a thing that people actually did. He was so used to just lubing up and taking what the client wanted to give them for a couple of minutes, before they came, paid and left. There was never anything more to it. Sex with Jesse McCree however, was something else entirely. Something money couldn’t buy. Large hands - surprisingly soft - caressed his tense shoulders. He felt Jesse nuzzle the right side of his face into his hair. The cowboy’s breath was warm against him as he moved south to place gentle kisses on the sensitive skin of his neck. He’d replace his lips with the very tip of his tongue every once in a while, tracing shapes against his skin, moaning slightly to change the sensation the other man felt. Jesse clearly knew what he was doing, that’s for sure. All the other man could do was close his eyes and lean his head back against Jesse’s shoulder, biting his bottom lip trying to hold back the moans that gathered within his chest, threatening to spill out.

_“Darlin’, y’don’t have to be so quiet, nobody can hear us in here.”_

_“W-who says I wanna m-make a s-sound?”_

The quiver in their voice said it all. Jesse slipped his hands down to the hem of the other man’s shirt, beginning to remove it almost painfully slowly, grinning all the while. The other man raised his arms to aid the cowboy’s plight, stretching slightly when they were finally free. Jesse immediately began to ghost his fingertips over his broad chest, the pads of his fingers tickled by the dark hair scattered across his skin. The way the other man flinched against his touch told him just how sensitive his chest was, and just how much this alone would drive him wild. He grasped one peachy nipple between finger and thumb, rolling it gently. This gained him a response this time, and one he’d never expected.

_“Fuck, Jesse. Baby, please.”_

Small squeaks rose from his throat as he moaned every word, back arching as he writhed around. Jesse’s second hand came up to the other hardened bud, repeating his actions on both awoken nubs now. The other man’s breathing grew faster, deeper, harder. His hips bucked up against nothing, desperate for the friction he wasn’t getting.

_“Y’re a good boy, aren’t ya? I never expected ya to be so damn sensitive, darlin’. I betcha could cum just from this, couldn’t ya? Y’ain’t used to someone takin’ care of ya, are ya?”_

The other man was a mess in Jesse’s arms now. Tears spilled down his cheeks, mouth alternating between lip biting and tongue lolling from within. All he could do was moan as he continue to writhe, dangerously close to orgasm. Jesse knew this, and he gathered just how big of an impact his words were having alongside his touch.

_“Cum for me, baby boy. Wanna hear you, sugar. Don’t hold back for me now.”_

Jesse’s fingers intensified the movements they were making, mouth returning to the other man’s neck, sucking harshly at the delicate skin, deliberately leaving marks upon it. He wanted him to remember this night for a long time, and there was no way he’d pass up the opportunity to leave a reminder. The other man was losing control now, eyes rolling back into his head as his hips bucked violently into the air, crying out as his orgasm hit. Jesse was expecting him to be vocal, sure, but he didn’t expect him to scream his name.

_“Jesse!”_

The tone was almost pained, and the tears flowing down his cheeks could’ve confirmed that if it wasn't for the other man bursting into laughter as he came down from his high, still sobbing as he did so. All he wanted was for the cowboy to hold him right now, and that’s all that Jesse did.

* * *

 

He awoke with a start, breathless and clammy. Sharp fingernails clawing at his neck as he tried to breathe, eyes darting around the darkened room. He didn’t recognise it in his panic, and started to scream. This woke Jesse up, who immediately turned to face the trembling man whom he was sharing his bed with. He’d seen his fair share of people having panic attacks, but he’d never known someone to wake up like this.

_“Hey darlin’, it’s okay. It’s me, it’s Jesse. You’re in my apartment. You’re safe here, sweetheart, I’m not gonna hurt ya. Nobody’s gonna come in here and getcha. You’re alright, sugar.”_

Jesse kept his voice as calm as he could, although he was terrified that his attempt at comfort wouldn’t be enough. Having heard a familiar voice seemed to soothe the panicking man slightly, as his screams died down to small whimpers. He looked across at the cowboy, who’s eyes were reddened from the lack of sleep he’d had before being woken up. The other man’s lips were pressed tight now, squeaks audible from his throat as he tried and failed to speak. All he could do was look at Jesse and hope that the cowboy would hold him. McCree got the message, holding out his arms and moving slowly towards him. As soon as his head hit the cowboy’s chest, he began to sob violently. Apologies filled the air, but for what, Jesse didn’t know. He rocked him back and forth, humming softly into his hair. Jesse hushed him, and reassured him that he was safe the best that he could. The worried cowboy didn’t know if it was enough, but after a short while, he began to calm down, slowly drifting off to sleep in McCree’s strong grasp. Jesse made the conscious decision in that moment not to bring this up in the morning.

* * *

 

One thing he definitely wasn't used to was being awoken with gentle kisses and the smell of homemade pancakes, but that’s exactly what he got. He wasn’t expecting Jesse to be this nurturing, but here he was, taking care of them in a way they didn’t know was even possible outside of movies.

_“Y’sleep well, darlin’? Sure looked like you were cozy.”_

He didn’t recall a thing about his early-am panic attack, he just thought he’d been asleep the entire night. Jesse stayed true to his word and didn’t say a thing. He just smiled at the still-sleepy man as he plopped himself back down next to him, putting the tray full of breakfast foods and coffee on the bedside cabinet. He snaked his arms around the other man, pressing a soft kiss to his plush lips. As he pulled away, he cupped his cheek, caressing it with the pad of his thumb.

_“Y’so pretty, sugar. The daylight does wonders for ya. I thought you were beautiful before, but in the natural light? Damn, darlin’.”_

Another kiss, deepened this time by the cowboy as he pulled the other man flush to him, hands gently scraping at the skin of his back, moaning into the other’s mouth. The other man didn’t take much convincing. He straddled Jesse’s hips, not even bothering to wait before he began to grind into the cowboy’s lap. Both men felt the other hardening against them, which just added fuel to the fire. Considering both men were wearing naught but boxers, the thin fabric did nothing to conceal. Before the other man could say a word, Jesse picked him up only to place him on his back amongst the blankets. He tugged at the waistband of his boxers, maintaining eye contact to see if there was a flicker of doubt in the other’s eyes. There wasn’t. He was just as hungry for the contact as Jesse was, he wasn’t about to stop the cowboy from doing whatever he wanted to. As Jesse worked the other’s boxers down his thighs, he removed them entirely with a quick sweep, smirking as he did so. Seeing the other man’s cock spring free from its hold was a real sight, he was thick, uncut and above average length - Jesse would’ve guessed around 6.5” - more than enough for him to handle. Keeping his eyes locked on the other’s, he took long, testing licks against the underside of his shaft, flicking gently at the head. McCree made a show of spitting on the other’s length, using his own saliva as lube as he ran painfully slow strokes down his cock. There was only so much teasing he could do before he gave up and took the pre-cum slicked head into his mouth, the warm wetness of the cowboy’s tongue working him within his mouth drove the other man wild and Jesse had barely even started. He still maintained eye contact, refusing to break it. His hand wrapped around the other’s throbbing cock chased the movements of his mouth as he started to take more length inside. His movements sped up, he wasn’t about to tease him; he wanted him to cum. Jesse was relentless, he didn't fault or waver in his endeavours for a good 3 minutes before the other man started to lose control. His hips bucked up into the cowboy’s eager mouth, back arching violently as he shot thick ropes of hot, sticky cum into Jesse’s mouth. The cowboy swallowed and smiled, licking his lips.

_“Fuck, you taste good darlin’. Could do that all day. Gonna take everything you give me darlin’.”_

Still breathless from the intensity of his orgasm, the other man didn't react. He simply laid back, letting the pillow beneath his head bury him. Still lost in the depths of pleasure, he let his mouth run freely without a second thought.

**“I love you.”**


End file.
